


Wisdom in Stainless Pots

by el_em_en_oh_pee



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-04
Updated: 2008-08-04
Packaged: 2017-10-16 21:33:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/169573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/el_em_en_oh_pee/pseuds/el_em_en_oh_pee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hannah knows that Davis is going there for Ernie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wisdom in Stainless Pots

**Author's Note:**

> So I know that I wasn't really planning on writing fic, like, ever again, but then my two best (and favorite!) pairings decided to get all mixed up in my mind, and then this happened. I can't be held accountable. I'm the victim here, okay. It's pretty bad. AKA this is my coping mechanism for the Hannah/Neville that JKR has decided is canon.
> 
> Title is from Arlene Ang’s "This Is Not The Poem."

* * *

  
They pass each other in the halls after curfew at least once a week. When this happens, they usually pass each other in the halls again just before morning. Davis goes to and from Hufflepuff; Hannah does the same to Slytherin.

Hannah knows that Davis's going there for Ernie. It isn't exactly common knowledge (not yet, anyway), but Davis is going to her best friend, so Hannah does hear about it whenever Ernie is too excited to keep his mouth sealed shut. No one, not even Ernie, knows why Hannah is going to Slytherin, though granted no one (except Ernie) even knows that Slytherin is where she's going at all. Hannah, herself, doesn't even really know why she keeps going there.

Well. She does always end up in Parkinson's room, which usually leads to Parkinson's lipstick (thick, red, tastes nasty) getting kissed off, but that's not really a _why_. They why of her going to Slytherin has nothing to do with the smears of lipstick Hannah sometimes finds in interesting places (usually around her belly button) when she goes to shower, or the black hair that Hannah sometimes picks off of her robes along with the usual blonde ones, or the times that she can only wince, instead of nod, at Davis when she passes her in the corridor, because Parkinson has this thing with teeth and nipples that feels awesome until it's done. They're all fun, really, but Hannah isn't one to risk being caught just for a bit of fun -- especially with Parkinson, because Parkinson is a girl and Hannah is a girl and if there's anything that Hannah is not, it's a lesbian -- the way that she always has to shift, awkward and wanting, in her seat every time that Malfoy leers at her from across the Great Hall at breakfast is proof enough of that. Hannah wouldn't jeopardise her Prefect position for canoodling someone whose very gender refutes her sexual orientation. So Parkinson isn't the why. Malfoy isn't, either, of course, because he's not the one leaving lipstick prints on her stomach and thighs.

Ernie just thinks that she's... well. Hannah doesn't really know what Ernie thinks; he's never brought it up. Hannah suspects that he's afraid to find out. Or maybe Parkinson's told Davis and Davis has told him. Which is really unlikely, because once, in a moment of actual conversation, Parkinson mentioned that Davis is pretty much at odds with everyone but Nott.

"Not who?" Hannah had asked, and Parkinson had rolled her eyes in a way that made her feel very dumb.

"Theodore Nott," she'd said, and Hannah knew better than to ask 'Theodore, not who?' which would just be _stupid_ , especially because even though she understood at that point, Parkinson probably wouldn't have gotten the joke.

Hannah didn't ask why Davis was at odds with everyone. The look Ernie has on his face whenever she gets back to the Common Room after a night with Parkinson, after he's had a night with Davis, explains it all. She thinks.

Maybe not.

~~~

"Parkinson?" Davis says to Hannah one evening. Hannah's startled -- usually, Davis says "Abbott" and Hannah says "Davis" and they nod and go on to their respective destinations.

"No," Hannah says. "Hannah. Abbott."

Davis rolls her eyes. "I _know_ that," she scoffs. "But seriously, Abbott. _Parkinson_?" Hannah just raises an eyebrow at her, and apparently Davis decides to take that as confusion, or stupidity or _something_ , which makes Hannah wonder just how many people expect her to not be smart, because Davis says, "...Pansy..."

"No," Hannah says, quickly. "I know."

Davis looks at her with frank bewilderment. "Why?"

And Hannah raises her eyebrow again. "Why not?" she asks. "Why Ernie?" And Davis blushes, nods at her once, and pushes past. Hannah, now bewildered herself, starts going on to Slytherin when Davis says, "Wait," tells her of a new password change. Hannah thanks her. Doesn't really spare her another thought.

That night, Ernie leaves a note on the table in the Common Room for her to go up and talk to him when she gets back. Touching a bite mark on her breast, gingerly and through her shirt, Hannah goes.

He's still awake, and looking a bit panicked. "Do you know what you're doing," he says.

"In Slytherin?"

"Yeah," he says. "There."

Hannah suspects that Davis has told him that she's there for Parkinson, but she isn't. Definitely not. Not a lesbian, not into Parkinson, not into Malfoy. Not into Ern-- she cuts off that thought before it finishes. It's entirely ridiculous, entertaining it even if it is just long enough to scoff at it. And he's still waiting for an answer, Ernie is, while she's getting all tangled up in her thoughts again, so she forces herself to focus. "No."

He sighs, and she thinks he's being disapproving until he smiles nervously at her and sighs again. Hannah knows what this is: it's relief. She's about to ask, when Ernie speaks. "Good, because I don't either." And Hannah opens her mouth to inquire, but lovely dependable Ernie is being entirely predictable because he's already explaining, about how he has no idea what he's doing with Davis and how it was a huge total mistake and how he regrets ever being forced to partner with her in classes and--

"Ernie," Hannah says, cutting him off. "Just break it off with her, if she's such a problem."

But Ernie turns a dull red colour and shakes his head. "No," he says. "She's not the problem." And Hannah knows better than to ask for elaboration, because he's obviously in one of his moods where he tells everything, anyway, but after a minute she realises that he hasn't explained at _all_ so she asks anyway. "Because," he says. "Because I'm the problem."

"What?" Hannah asks, startled out of her re-collected expectant silence.

"Well," Ernie says. "Tracey, she. Um."

"She um what?" Hannah asks, trying not to notice how Davis is apparently no longer Davis to Ernie.

Ernie looks at her with a pained sort of look, and Hannah is about to get super concerned, but he sighs a bit and says, "Hannah, I really like her."

"Okay..."

"In the, I fancy her, I want her to be my girlfriend, and I want the whole school to know it kind of way," he said, and turns red again. "In the big way."

Hannah stares at him. "So..."

"So what do I do?" he asks. "You're a girl, and--"

Finally, he notices. "Yes, I am."

He doesn't seem to hear, though. "--and you know how girls work and you see her in the halls, right? Does she act like she..."

"Ernie," Hannah interrupts. "I have no fucking clue. We don't talk, Davis and I. I assume you snog her. I don't want to think about assuming anything else. That's basically all I know about her, so I have no way of figuring out whether she acts like she fancies you or not."

"Oh," he says, looking sort of sad.

Hannah curses herself, sighs, and adds: "I sort of assume she does, since she comes here so much, but you never can tell with Slytherins, can you!"

Ernie looks ashamed, now. "I never ask you about why you go," he says. "I'm sorry. I--"

"It's okay," she rushes to say, and looks at his face but decidedly not at his lips. "I don't --" she's about to say she doesn't know, but something stops her. " --care. I don't care." And, to her slight chagrin, he drops it.

~~~

"Fuck off, Abbott," Parkinson says, the next time she shows up, and Hannah looks at her, startled. "What?" Parkinson asks, after noting the look. "It's not like this was going to go on forever."

"No, I know," Hannah says, rolling her eyes. She doesn't mind, not really. She's just surprised that someone who actually is a lesbian -- she assumes Parkinson's one; Pansy really seems to like kissing her and... doing everything else, too. Not that Hannah doesn't like it, but, well. Parkinson's a girl and Hannah's a girl and Hannah isn't _gay_ or anything, she just likes kissing. And everything else, but not in a lesbian way. Just in a, it feels good and you happen to be a girl but I can pretend that you have a dick instead of boobs when you're going down on me, kind of way. Obviously. Anyway. She's surprised that an actual lesbian would give up making out (and everything else) with a girl who, although clearly not a lesbian, is okay with doing those (lesbian) things.

Hannah is wondering just how many times she can fit the word 'lesbian' in her thoughts -- in a logical way, not in a 'thinking the word over and over and over again' way -- in ten minutes, when Parkinson smacks her shoulder and asks if Hannah's heard _anything_ she's been saying.

"No," Hannah says, because even though she's with a Slytherin it doesn't mean she has to lie like one.

"I said," Parkinson says, "that I'm with Draco now, so I have no further need of you."

No further need my ass, Hannah almost says. She almost points out that Parkinson is clearly a lesbian and she will definitely have further need, but that would be petty. Instead, she says, "Oh, excellent. It's been lovely; do invite me to your wedding," and she's okay with being flippant and rude and not at all classy for once because she's feeling really angry -- that Parkinson is casting her off so easily, not because she _liked_ the girl or anything -- and then she stands abruptly.

Parkinson looks like she's about to ask for something ridiculous like a goodbye kiss, or something slightly less ridiculous like break-up (except it isn't a break-up because they were never going out, because straight girls don't date other girls) sex, so Hannah shrugs her off, waggles her fingers in the cattiest way she knows how, and flounces out of Parkinson's room (which, really, why do _Slytherins_ get private rooms and not anybody else? Though, when Hannah thinks about it, it kind of makes sense. The whole liable to kill or maim or curse anyone who gets on their bad side thing, or whatever it is that Slytherins have, would probably get in the way of sleeping with a bunch of other people).

Instead of going back to Hufflepuff, though, Hannah heads to Malfoy's room, because she's pissed off and went to Slytherin expecting to get off and now that clearly isn't happening by way of Parkinson. So it makes sense for her to seduce the reason that Parkinson won't do it, right?

Malfoy is so easy to convince that Hannah is almost surprised, but not really. She's heard rumours. She's also started some, but mostly she just listens to them. From now on, she'll just have to remember to believe them sometimes.

~~~

Hannah doesn't pass Davis in the halls on her way back to Hufflepuff (and back from Malfoy) one day, and when she gets to the Common Room, she figures out why. Honestly, _no one_ wants to see that sort of thing happening! Except she's completely mesmerized, until a discarded sock hits her.

"Sorry!" she says, even though neither Ernie nor Davis had noticed her and she probably could have just retreated to her room without them any the wiser. Better that they realise that anyone in Hufflepuff could see them, she decides, and be interrupted.

But they pay her no heed, which doesn't sit well with her, so she surreptitiously Summons the buttons off of all of their (similarly discarded) clothes and Transfigures them into chocolate bits and gives them all to Susan when she goes to their room. The next morning, Hannah doesn't talk to Ernie, and doesn't let him know why. She spends all of breakfast cooking in Malfoy's stare, smirking at Parkinson's gape.

She's cornered after breakfast, on her way to Herbology, by Davis. Apparently, Davis never left Hufflepuff the previous night: the cuff of her sleeve, peeking out from under her robe, is unbuttoned and, indeed, buttonless. A sad little thread trails out from opposite the buttonhole. Hannah chokes back a laugh, and coughs.

"Sorry," Davis says, flushing lightly. "I was just. Wondering if--"

"I don't know," Hannah interrupts, intending to head off any questions about the whereabouts of the sock, or buttons, or...

But Davis interrupts her thoughts. "Abbott..."

"What?" Hannah asks, darting a glance up to Davis's face. The girl is growing steadily redder, and Hannah wonders if she might potentially have feelings for her. It wouldn't surprise her; she seems to be a commodity among Slytherins. Perhaps not, though. Hannah's pretty sure that, like herself, Davis is a decidedly not gay person. In fact...

In fact, Davis has been talking and Hannah hasn't been paying one whit of attention. She focuses in again, just in time to hear Davis say, "so what do you think?"

"I'm sorry," Hannah begins, intent on explaining that she hadn't quite caught everything else that Davis said, but she trails off when she sees her face fall.

"It's okay," Davis says. "I mean, I didn't expect... I just thought it might be nice... Especially for Ernie, you know, and..."

Had Davis asked for a threesome? Hannah entertains the notion for a moment, then discards it as unlikely. "Well," she says.

"I mean, I understand perfectly why you wouldn't want to," Davis says, and pauses. "No. Wait. I don't. You expect me to believe, Abbott, that you find fit to fuck -- or _whatever_ \-- Pansy, who really _isn't_ the paradigm of classiness, on a regular basis, but you're completely above even attempting to act friendly towards your best friend's girlfriend? And, really, I don't want to hear any rot about my being in the dregs of Slytherin society, because that would be _especially_ ridiculous coming from someone like you."

Hannah's mostly shocked at Davis's transition from tentative to temperamental, but the obviously misconstrued belief that she's still with _Parkinson_ is certainly rankling in its own account (until, that is, she realises that that particular particle of information only just changed the previous night). "Hold up, Davis," she says, primly. "I misunderstood your intentions."

Davis stares at her. "What on _earth_ is that supposed to mean?"

Hannah shrugs a bit. "For Ernie?"

"For Ernie," Davis confirms, looking at her sharply.

And Hannah nods slowly.

~~~

 _Of course_ , she tells herself later, _I didn't really mean it_. Davis is a decent sort, probably, but. But she doesn't use the garish lipstick that Parkinson wears so well, she hasn't got the look that Malfoy gives so well -- unfortunately, 'smouldering' is an apt description -- at her disposal, and for all that Ernie seems to appreciate her in many varied ways, she just isn't that _interesting_. Hannah gives her three days of her time. Once the three days are up, she decides to take it upon herself to expose Davis's blandness and (quite potentially) save Ernie from the prospect of dealing with it for too terribly long.

So one night, drunk on desire (Malfoy's been playing hard-to-get) and intoxicated on false promise, emboldened by the fact that, for once, Davis isn't pressed up against Ernie in some corner, Hannah dares to be rash. She pulls Ernie aside and, under the guise of asking him about an Astronomy essay, manages to position them in a way that makes kissing him easy. And kiss him she does: hard and fast and not giving him any time to protest.

Until he pushes her away. "What the _fuck_ , Hannah," he says, and she has to look away from his expression, because, for the first time in the history of their friendship, she can't read it at all. It might be terribly angry, or terribly sad, or. Well. It's terrible, at any rate, and she can't stand it.

"Sorry," she says, half-whispering, and, instead of staying to explain herself, runs off.

Of course she runs straight into Davis as soon as she gets outside of the Common Room. "Don't go in there," she warns. "Ernie's a bit upset."

"Oh," Davis says, looking rather not-happy at the thought. "Okay." And she pauses, but she doesn't quite turn away.

"Davis," Hannah says, and then, after a beat, "...Tracey." And when Davis turns (half-turns, really) to look at her, Hannah launches forward and hugs her, tighter than she's ever hugged before, burrowing her face into Davis's neck. She doesn't even mind that it takes Davis almost a full minute to respond and that, when she does, it's just to pat Hannah awkwardly on the back. Hannah doesn't let go, can't let go, and she doesn't even know why.

"Abbott," Davis says, eventually, trying to shrink away. "Abbott." Her tone grows steadily more awkward. "Hannah. Hey. Listen to me. Hannah. Are you... are you _crying_?"

And Hannah realises with a shock that she is. She pulls away, mostly because she'd feel wretchedly gross if she got snot all over Davis's neck, and, sniffling a bit, wipes her face off with a trailing end of her sleeve. "Sorry," she says, thickly.

Davis doesn't presume to know what's happening. She leads Hannah to the kitchens, gets her a mug of weak tea, and finger-combs Hannah's hair until Hannah's calmed down sufficiently. "Out of curiosity," Davis says, eventually, and Hannah thinks that if Davis asks her if she's okay, that she'll probably have to kill her. But Davis doesn't. "Out of curiosity, what exactly keeps you going back to Slytherin?"

"So you've found out about Parkinson?"

"Well," Davis says. "I'd say that everyone has, really. I mean. In Slytherin. As of this evening. Because she and Draco were certainly having a bit of a nasty public row about it when I left earlier."

"Really," Hannah says, and she gives a little (insincere) laugh. "I've no idea, really. What I'm doing over there."

Davis takes a deep breath. "Look, Abbott," she says. "I'm really not one for giving advice."

"Please don't."

"Wasn't going to," Davis says. "I was just going to say, well. Think about it. They're my housemates, and I do admire them in some capacity, but they're not the sort of people I'd want to centre my life around."

 _But I don't_ , Hannah wants to say. _It's Ernie, isn't it_? Which is when she realises: it _is_ about Ernie. She's horrified at herself, partially for being one of _those girls_ who didn't realise they were mad about their best friends until it was too late. Or is it? Ignoring everything that Davis has been saying -- not even giving the flip little, 'that's 'cause we Hufflepuffs are so much better' sort of response she'd been toying with on some level, she asks, "Do you love him?"

And Davis says, "Yes."

Hannah nods, barely registering the 'don't tell' that Davis hastily adds. "Good," she says, a little dumbly. "I'm pretty sure he does, too."

~~~

For a while, Hannah tells herself that she's completely done with Slytherins. She avoids Davis (and Ernie) as much as she can without letting on too much of what's really going on. She jokes (with herself, of course) how she's on a detox cycle.

But that doesn't stop Malfoy from giving her those scorching stares and, after a month or so, it likewise doesn't stop Pansy from groping her in the darker recesses of the halls. And Hannah most decidedly does not stop it.

She briefly considers a three-way, but discards that as soon as the thought enters her mind. Instead of resuming her perennial forays into Slytherin, she lets the Slytherins come to her. Not into Hufflepuff -- Davis is probably the only Slytherin who has ever done that -- but in the halls, in the corners, in the darkened edges off the commonly used corridors about the school. She might not be completely done with Slytherin, after all, but (in her defence), she doesn't go about seeking them out, doesn't go about begging them for it.

Ernie doesn't approach her, doesn't ask about her distance from him, and Hannah tries not to notice.

~~~

It ends (for good) with Parkinson when she and Hannah find themselves opposite each other in a corridor during the final battle. Hannah pauses, because she's spent so long being concerned with caresses instead of politics that she almost isn't sure whether she's completely allied with all of her friends, and the Side of Right, or with those she's slept with for the past forever, and, taking advantage of this pause, Parkinson kisses her and curses her before melting away from Hannah's vision, from Hannah's life. She tries to believe that she doesn't miss Parkinson. People who aren't lesbians don't miss the girls they used to kiss. Her last foray with Malfoy is the day before his wedding: although many people (her father included) have told her to avoid him and his no-good ways, they've been sneaking around, around Parkinson and parents and absolutely everyone else for the past age. He fucks her one last time, against the wall of the building where the rehearsal dinner is held, holding her mouth shut against her moans, and she smirks at him one last time even though she almost feels as if she wants to cry.

She busies herself with finding a job because she doesn't want to notice that Ernie hasn't owled her in the months since school ended (she hasn't owled him, either, to be perfectly honest, but she doesn't want to be the first to fold). Since she wasn't the best student, the Ministry job that she'd planned on initially falls through and she finds herself working nights at the Leaky Cauldron, publicly pouring drinks and showing patrons to rooms, privately joining the same patrons at night, warming their beds and stealing sips of their firewhiskey.

One night, Davis comes to the bar. Hannah doesn't notice it's her until she hands her the cocktail she ordered (a Mudblood; it's a poisonous shade of red and all rage). Davis is just as startled as Hannah is, and blurts, "Why don't you write Ernie anymore?"

Hannah is silent, so Davis persists. "He misses you."

And it goes on like that: Hannah makes a noise of acknowledgement, then turns to assist another customer, always pausing whenever Davis confronts her with another like-minded question, never answering. She's confused, and slightly upset. _Ernie_. She read in the Daily Prophet, a few weeks ago, that he was making some very solid political waves. There was a picture. He looked good. Davis was on his arm. Hannah cut the picture out, to save it, but ended up ripping it off of her refrigerator as soon as she'd Spell-o-Taped it up, and tearing it in half.

She doesn't give Davis a satisfactory answer all night, and by the time Davis is ready to leave, she's rather drunk. This means that Hannah, as a fine upstanding employee, is supposed to offer her a room for the night and, if it is refused, assist her home (via Floo or, if the patron is well-known, Side-Along Apparition). Davis chooses the Floo, and Hannah leads her to the back of the Leaky, to where the employee's fireplace is kept. "What's the destination?"

"Ernie's flat," Davis says, as steadily as she is able. "I can do it."

But Hannah isn't supposed to let her, and tells her as much. She's frozen, though, torn between duty and her own surfacing desires for Davis to go anywhere but there. So she deals with it the only way she knows how.

She kisses Davis, a lot less aggressively than she intends to, and pulls away only when she realises, very belatedly, that they're just standing there and Hannah is doing all the work and Davis is slack and drunk and unmoving against her lips and that this probably means that Hannah is a tiny bit lesbian for the first time in her life.

She pulls away and sets the Floo and when the invitation to their wedding comes two weeks later Hannah doesn't go.

~~~

After five years, Tom retires and Hannah becomes landlady and bartender and all-around manager of the Leaky Cauldron. Ernie still hasn't written and she hasn't seen him since his bachelor party, conveniently thrown in one of the parlour rooms and bartended by her. She tears her eyes away from the stripper and forces herself not to kiss him and doesn't see him again. Sometimes, she lets herself remember about when they were still best friends and she hadn't realised about her love for him being anything more than platonic, about when they talked about everything and Hannah had never kissed a girl and jeopardised her straightness, or kissed Ernie and jeopardised her happiness. Sometimes, Malfoy comes to the bar and he always stares at her (even though she's gained weight) in that way that always made her shift her thighs against each other, except now she doesn't feel anything but lonely when he does it.

And then, one day, Neville Longbottom comes in and has a butterbeer. He has one the next day, too, and the day after that, until suddenly he's her most regular customer. And after three months, he takes her aside and brushes her hand with a fingertip and kisses her, so sweet and tender she's not sure whether she'll faint or be sick. He asks her out and for some reason, she says yes. For weeks Hannah's quite certain that she doesn't deserve him and feels lonelier than she's ever felt, but gradually, she manages not to think about that even though she's pretty sure it's true.

He keeps being sweet to her, for weeks and months and years, and sometimes she can't stand it and sometimes she thinks she might scream. It takes him the better part of a year to ask her to fuck him (or, as he puts it, "make love"), and this only comes after two months of repeated I love yous on his part, and one, tentative and only partially true on hers. She has the strongest suspicion that she's settling, but doesn't particularly care because everyone else has gone away and Neville's promised her that he won't. He moves into her room on the top floor of the Leaky Cauldron the first summer after he starts teaching at Hogwarts and, almost instantly, there are dozens of plants crowding what used to be a sparse space.

Hannah kind of likes it.

So when he asks her to marry him, almost three years after he first kissed her, Hannah's almost sure that she does love him, and she says, "Yes. No. Wait a minute, let me think. Okay," and they're engaged. On whim, she invites Malfoy and Parkinson (Malfoy and Malfoy, she corrects herself), but they decline, and she's mostly relieved. She finds out later that Neville's invited Ernie and -- she can't help but think of his wife as Davis even though she's long lost that name -- and wants desperately to be mad at him, screamingly mad, which is partially because they've never had a proper argument and she aches for one and partially because she's so damn frustrated (that she didn't invite him, that Neville admits that he pretended the invite came from her, that she still loves Ernie more than she's ever loved Neville). Instead of shouting, she thanks him, hollowly and flat-faced but feigning enthusiasm, and waits till he goes out for the day before she breaks into tears.

So she waits, and pretends that she isn't waiting, for days, for the RSVP to arrive, and when it does, she opens it with trembling fingers.

  


**Author's Note:**

> Cliffhanger intentional. There may be more in this 'verse.


End file.
